Idolatry - How It Can Keep You Safe

I got a funny letter from Bill R....a copywriter who attended last fall's copywriting boot camp sponsored by AWAI.

At the end of the conference we raffled off these life-sized, cardboard cutouts of the keynote speakers, including yours truly. It was a whacky idea -- would people really pay for replicas of us? Who did we think we were? Rock stars?

I was hoping a beautiful young woman would buy my figure, but it was purchased by a young man - with a sense of humor.

Just last week I was thinking about that. What did that guy do with the cutout? Did he leave it in his hotel room? Or did he bring it on the plane with him?

Then I received this email from him:

All Across the US Home Invasions are on the Rise....

Lucky for you, you have a friend on the inside.... your worries are finally over!

One Look from Michael Masterson and would-be burglars head for the hills!!

Available for the first time in the continental United States, the Michael Masterson Home Invasion Protection Kit has hit the market. Your sleepless nights are over ... no more waking to every snap of a twig or chirp from a cricket.

OK, enough drama....

To make a long story short, during Boot camp 2007 I bid on and won Michael Masterson during the auction of stand-up figures. Recently some degenerates decided to attempt to break into my car. Luckily, I was home and scared them off. Then I wondered what to do when I could not be home? Michael and I sat down and talked about it....... The solution was

simple and I implemented it in no time.

Recently, a neighbor told me that the car thieves showed up again and they ran off when they saw my friend in the window. A neat trick considering that I live alone and the house was empty; empty except for Michael. A few days earlier, I installed a light with a motion detector and made sure that it partially lit up the window where I stood the cut-out of my buddy Michael.

When the wannabe car thieves approached my car, the light came on and there stood Michael Masterson with his menacing "this copy is crap" look and kung-fu grip. My 1970 Lincoln was safe to cruise another day!

Tell Michael I said thanks for keeping the homestead safe and that we need more beer.....

Bill

posted by M. Masterson @ 9:32 AM,

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