Getting on a Plane and Pining for the Old Days
April 24, 2007

Returning home after a tour of colleges with our youngest son, K and I boarded a flight going from Denver to Baltimore. Because we were among the last to get into the first-class cabin, the overhead space was already tight by the time we got to our seats. There wasn't enough room in the compartment for both my carry-on bag and K's - so, since I had seen the passenger who boarded just ahead of us put two bags overhead (which violates the limit by one), I asked if he'd mind stowing his smaller bag under the seat.

He was perfectly willing to oblige.

While I moved his bag out of the overhead compartment, a man sitting in the next row - a guy about my age (which is to say in his 50s) - said, "You better not move my bag."

I looked at him in disbelief. "I'm not touching your bag," I said to him, trying to restrain myself.

"You better not," he said.

I couldn't take it. "You are a jerk," I said.

He said something back.

I shook my head and went about fitting our luggage into the compartment, but he kept mumbling. I stared at him for the longest time, trying to convey without words that I would relish the opportunity to beat the living crap out of him.

There is something wrong with the world we live in. Laws that are written to protect the weak can be, and often are, used by arrogant people to be arrogant with impunity. This obnoxious loudmouth was a prime example. He was able to speak to me as he did only because he was confident that I wouldn't punish him physically for his rudeness. In another time and place, I could have - and would have - given him the treatment he asked for. And afterward, I would have felt very good about what I had done.

Instead, I had to force myself to calm down and ignore him. By telling myself that the universe will pay him back. By reminding myself that people who are disagreeable live disagreeable lives, even if they have the trappings of happiness and success.

This miserable schmo probably spends half his time fighting with people, and the other half gloating over his bad behavior. That is no way to live.

Still, I can't help but feel that a feint to the head followed by a quick takedown followed by a two-minute pound-down on his face would have been good for both of us.

posted by M. Masterson @ 9:46 AM,

6 Comments:

At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more. This jerk probably deserved a beating. My boss, who is my age and severely out of shape, acts similarly. I don't have many options for recourse and would love the physical one. Perhaps one day there will be a flag football game in which I could expose him for the out-of-shape, miserable blowhard that he is.

 
At 9:25 AM, Blogger Dana said...

I can't agree with you more about the jerk you ran into, but I can't agree with your comments about air travel in Early to Rise.

The American traveler wants to have things back to what they were before deregulation, nice seats, happy employees, good service. Well if we do that do you also want the fares that they were charging back then.
The flight that you mention from Denver to Baltimore would probably be $2000 in inflation corrected dollars today.Of course the airlines can provide great service at that price,they can hire the people they need and pay the employees a fair wage, but at these fares, which you probably paid about $200,that simply can't be done.

I'm a Captain for a major airline and I'd love to see the "good ole days". You'd have your great service and I'd have my pension and paycheck back.

The American public spoke loud and clear that they wanted, first and formost, low fares, and they have them. Be careful what you wish for, you may just get it.

 
At 9:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Michael,

The glory days of travel are over...

Not too long ago, when flying first class, I was astonished to watch a late-boarding traveler open the overhead bin near his seat, take the small rollerboard out that was occupying the space and place it on the floor, He then put his own case in the overhead and sat down. All of us stared at him in wonder. I thought there would be a fight, as the other case-owner was really angry (and rightfully so). The attendant saved the day by taking care of the other case.

 
At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Blake said...

Michael: Give yourself a break. You can't control what others do or say. To let yourself get caught up into that energy is never-ending for you. The fantasy of beating the man is not serving you, your health or your family who probably realized that "Dad is in another one of his hostile and upset moods." In fact, I'm positive that you were not "present" with your family while you focused on the rude guy and what you would like to do to him. So who really wins in this situation? You as you stare him down and "show him?" Your family who you now interact with in that sort of angered energy state? Yes, the guys behavior is rude but you sure were quick to bite the bait. Now you are his fish arn't you? That is the element of this whole thing that you need to consider, how not to be someones fish rather than your fantasy of beating the other man which is sort of a waste of time and is never going to happen. How to do you get out of that "energy" state you ask? Do you forgive the rude guy? Nope, you forgive yourself - that is correct - you forgive yourself for buying into the b.s.that you are hearing or think you are hearing. Then to go really deep, offer your compasion to the poor guy who is propably living a misserable life. In a way, can't you feel sorry for him considering the way he interacts with complete strangers? If so, bingo - you realize that what he has to say has nothing to do with you and you can enjoy your time on the flight. Let people like that have their own experience without it affecting yours. Now if it was a physical attack that would be another story alltogether - but is wasn't.

Written by a 47 year old man, long, long time student of very traditional karate and recent graduate of a masters degree in Spiritual Psychology.

 
At 8:54 AM, Anonymous Scott said...

Michael, a long time ago, I used to lose my temper with jerks like the one you ran into on the plane. They didn't even have to say anything to me, I could lose it with jerks in a traffic jam. Being a former Drill Sgt. and Military Policeman, I tended to have a type A personality and a very large sometimes uncontrollable temper.

After many counseling sessions, I learned a trick that helped me control my emotions, it is a simple saying, yet it has great power. It is "What is... is" In other words if you can't change the situation such as that person's rudeness, the only one that has high blood pressure and tension that drives you nuts is you.

I would be willing to wager that person has long forgotten about his rudeness and actions that made you ticked off, yet you still probably get worked up about it. In that case, who really won? I would guess that he did if it was a contest because you still think about it.

If you can't change what is going on around you, you have to accept it and move on. By no means do I agree with that persons actions, however, just letting it go and realizing the guy is a jerk will give you satisfaction. Try it, it really works.

 
At 3:02 AM, Anonymous Kathleen said...

I have to agree with Blake on this one. Your reaction to that passenger's rudeness, Michael, was a knee-jerk, testosterone-fueled, Rambo response, the type of behavior which is behind so much of the rudeness, road rage, heart disease, and even war in the world today. When you raise a child or train an animal and you use violence (punishment), the results you get are based on fear, not values. "Pounding him in the face" would only reinforce his opinion that other people were jerks. Ever think that maybe someone had damaged his bag before, or that he may have been served with divorce papers that morning? Showing compassion for others is the only way to change their behavior in the long run, and preserve your own health as well. When I have responded to someone's rudeness with compassion, I have had that person apologize to me. We then both became winners, not losers.

 

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